Spring 2001. It was the absolute worst time of my life. And it should have been one of the best times for me. I was 28 years old and had just finished my liberal arts degree at Purchase College just north of New York City. I was managing a video store during the day and doing my music at night playing with bands in and around central new york. Things were going really well. I had always been a shy person–and I basically still am–but I was beginning to come out of my shell socially. I was going out with friends, dating and having fun.
Now I knew my hair had changed a bit over the last few years–the v’s had gotten a little bit deeper and the top was slightly thinner–but I didn’t think too much about it. On some level I knew what was happening but denial is a powerful thing. I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that I was destined to look like my father–a man with a head like glass. I remember catching glimpses of myself in mirrors here and there and thinking that my hair just wasn’t laying right anymore. But I could still disguise it –still maintain the illusion of a full head of hair. I figured I had another five years or so before things got really bad. And by then I would be in my early thirties. I wouldn’t care at that point ( yeah right!)
April 1st 2001. Yes I do remember the exact date. I remember this day like it was yesterday. That day of reckoning (when you finally realize that it’s happening) is a life changing apocalyptic event. One that is forever burned into your psyche–permanently etched into your consciousness. Now for me that realization came when I was doing a gig at a music festival in Marathon NY. I was taking my keyboard out of the car when I saw my reflection in the window. My hair looked funky–funkier than usually. I mean really funky! It was weak and wispy, the recession in the temples looked enormous, and it looked like an island was starting to form in the front. I couldn’t believe it! It wasn’t even me staring back. This has to be some other guy…maybe my balding brother. The denial set it. Car windows are like fun house mirrors–they distort right? I bet that’s all it is. But when I checked things out in the bathroom inside it was the same situation. I messed with it and messed with it to try to get it to look right–all to no avail. It was then that I realized what I guess I had already known: I had crossed that threshold. I now looked like a guy with thinning hair…a balding guy! Full panic mode set it.
Over the next few months I sank into a serious depression–total despondency!. I can remember sitting in my house thinking that it was over. From this point on, my life would never be the same, or so I thought. From now on I would be known as Dave the balding guy. Like somehow it would take over my life and be the thing that defined me over and above everything else. I’d be Dave the balding keyboard player in the bands I played with; Dave the balding manager of the video store; Dave the balding guy of the bunch when my friends and I were out at clubs. And I had hair envy too—big time! All my favorite movie stars: Pacino, DeNiro , Mickey Rourke. They were all guys with beautiful hair—super human hair. I wanted that too–desperately. Life was so unfair. I’d be at the supermarket or mall and I’d see an 85 year old guy with this full head of luxurious hair…better than I had when I was 12 years old. Now if that isn’t a kick in the teeth I don’t know what is. Couldn’t I somehow trade with him I thought. I need that hair more than he does! Damn! The depression was all consuming. I was drinking every night –Johnny Walker black on the rocks. I’d go on these mean two and three day benders just to try to ease the pain and escape form the reality of what was happening. It was a horrific period for me: out in dive bars night after night drinking myself into oblivion, thinking about how I was going to find the guts to go on with my life–or if I even wanted to! I had gotten a speeding ticket during this time and was scheduled to go to court the following month to contest it. I remember thinking: I don’t know if I’ve even going to be around next month! Honestly that is how bad things were.
Well after a few months I began to pull myself out of this downward spiral. I did research and discovered Spencer and The Bald Truth and I learned that it was now possible to successfully treat your hair loss. That gave me hope. I eventually became a part of the show and I’ve been beating this thing for the better part of a decade now. Seven successful years on Propecia ( knock on wood ) and my hair hasn’t changed a bit. Thank God!
So I tell this story to show people just how profoundly we are affected by this disease of the spirit. Hair loss is something that colors every aspect of our lives. But we are lucky to be living in a time where we can do something about it. There are great options available: drug treatment, non surgical hair replacement and hair transplantation. Just be sure to educate yourself in order to choose the option that’s best for you.
Good luck in the fight.
at 3:49 pm
Hey Dave,
I read your story and feel your pain. The only problem I have is located back of my head about 4 inches in diameter. I tried many ways to hide the baldness and got tired, so I decided to shave my head. I am the only one in my family with thinning hair and I am the youngest of 17 kids. My father at almost 80 years old has more hair then I do and so do my 55 year old brother. It all started when took a Dietary Supplement called Hydroxycut for 3 years trying loose wieght and so very much I wish I was fat instead having to deal with thinning hair. I have always had beautiful hair growing up and getting compliment all time from teachers. Like you said it was me denying it when your hair starts to fall out cause I am the guy that has nice hair. I went to see a EXT hair loss program and paid $1,500 for 6 months supply of shampoo about 7 years ago. I guess you know the outcome of it, if I am still researching. I finally just got over it and started to shave my head and still HOPING that my hair will grow back thicker cause their might be a good chance. Well just to cut the story short I had a family member wanted to remind me again that I have a bald head then my heart just stops beating and I thought I got over it. I know it hurts me still about it and me trying to strong and live my life, its hard. If any advise it won’t hurt any worse then it’s already been.
Your friend
PK
at 12:36 am
So how do you look with the shaved head? Can you pull it off?
at 7:21 pm
ok i feel you man, but you never really faced your demons, im on propecia as well… everythings fine but soner or later we will have to deal with it… im thinking of stopping the propecia and shave my head and win the fight before it starts… people tell me you can be amazed at what your capable of getting used to, i feel this is one of those things that just needs to set in. good luck man.
at 6:41 pm
i am 26 and my hair has been thinning for 2 years, don’t know why, guess i am unlucky, i used toppik for a while, covered it up perfectly, but its at the stage where i have to use loads and its a pain in the arse and expensive, so i got a pair of clippers out and buzzed it off, felt like a huge weight off my shoulders, don’t look as bad as i imagined.
as far as women go its not all that important to the decent ones, i have had plenty of girls in last couple of years even though i have a receding hairline, i am not going to deny its made me envious of my prevoius better looks but life throws shit at you just pick your self up love what god gave you and get on with it, if someone doesnt like you because your bald, srew them, don’t like them back, anyway all these guys that wear a fucking wig or hairpiece or think sugery is a good idea keep your thoughts to yourself about how miserable and depressing your life is and how baldness is a desease or something, if your thining, shave your head, you will look the same as jason statham, rugged, women like it.
peace out guys
at 7:47 pm
I had a similar experience at 18– messed me up for at least 2 years. I began taking propecia at 20. Ten years later I have the same hairline I had when I was 18– no change at all, none. So I recommend it for anyone upset about going bald– however, I have heard stories about it affecting your testosterone levels and causing impotence (it blocks a certain testosterone that causes the alopecia). I have not had any real issues with this– however, I do feel I don’t get quite as hard as I used to when I younger– but perhaps this is just an effect of aging.
at 1:17 am
guys please read this…..i am just 16…….i dont know whats happening to my hair……my hair are not falling but they r not evn growing……last year….ii had this fungal infection on my thighs…… started to think that my hair are not growing because of fungus………but there is no fungus on my head……….this has lead to constant depresssion……the friends around me are getting hair styles n olll they have long hair……n here i am …my scalp is seen clearly when i stand in the sun……:( please help/////……..it has blown away all of my confidence………hair loss at such a small age……….before girls really used to ask me out…..but my hair loss has changed my look…..i look compketely different………please please help….
at 5:40 am
man, hairloss at such a young age is fking unfair. I’m balding since 16, and its just the most f-d up thing God can do to a young man. nothing worse than knowing that you’re the coolest guy on the block, but can’t really be yourself because once you take out that hat everybody will have the same thought “damn hes balding”. there’s no way you can change that. you can have the coolest jokes, the biggest muscle, everything. you’ll still be the BALDING guy, and not the cool guy. MUCH POWER TO YOU